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A Bag of Weed is a song sung by Stewie and Brain in Family Guy. It's a parody on the Sherman Brothers Chitty Chitty Bang Bang song, Me Ol' Bamboo.

LyricsEdit

Stewie: Now everybody gather 'round and listen if you</span> would. When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good. Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick.

Stewie & Brian: But all you need is a bag of weed to</span> really get a kick.

All: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight</span>. A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed. It's the only hope that you'll ever need. Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed.

Stewie: There you go, you're all getting it now</span>.

Ensemble: When Texas people want to feel good,</span>...

Stewie: They go assault a queer.</span>

Ensemble: When stupid people need a thrill,...

Stewie: They rent The Rocketeer.

Ensemble: When Michael Jackson needs a rush,...

Stewie: He humps a guy like me.

Ensemble: Right!

All: But all we need is a bag of weed, To keep us worry free. One, Two, Three, HO! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed. Oh, you don't need meth and you don't need speed. Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed

Stewie: Have a go, Brian!

Brian: As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool."

Stewie: And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool."

Brian: But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear.

All: HEY! Cuz all we need is a bag of weed. To make us wanna cheer! And One, Two! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed. You can try and fight but we're all agreed. Because everything is better with A Bag of Weed.

(break)

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, And One, Two, Three, Four, And A Five, And A Six, And A Seven! HO!! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed. Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed. You're a happy guy when you plant the seed. Because everything is better with A Bag...
Of...
Weed! Oh ev'rything is better with a bag of weed!!

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